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This message was posted by Apshai Locura, posted on February 06, 2000 at 07:04:23

Well.. tonight I decided..
(Maybe its because im on mushrooms... who knows).

I am done..

This is silly..

Let me explain my days/weeks to you.

I get up at 8am.. drive to work (40 min commute with friends so its cool and very nice northern cali scenic). I work.. and I work.. and at 9pm I comehome.. and I pick my girlfriend (I live with her) up from work at 9:30, then I get home at 10... I hang with the GF till ~11-12 and then I get on EQ. I play EQ probably till 2am if I am a good responsible boy.. Then it starts over...

Well I used to have Sundays as well.. but now I dont because GF took sundays off of work so she could get me the fuck out of the house.

Saturdays.. I wake up at 10am.. drive my GF to work, get home at 12pm.. and play till 4pm when I have to pick her up from work..

Its bad.. Every fucking night I WANT her to go to sleep so I can play.. I mean, I dont THINK I have a problem.. but I do.. I can't wait till I can play. Is this bad?? I don't think so.. weekend.. I dont do ANYTHING.. I play .. as much as I can.

I ignore my friends..
god.. tonight I had such a good time.. I did mush (yeah whatever.. think about drugs what you want.. ). With 2 good friends.. walked through golden gate park (11pm).. WOW.. (I am 28 years old.. I have done mush like 100000 times before so whatever). Anyhow, walked down Haight street down to The Top (a bar).. AWESOME drumb and bass and a chick singing to it.. WOW.. and friends kept coming into the place.. people who I should be hanging out with.. people who my girlfriend says "lets go over to jen and choids place".. I am saying.. nooo.. I dont want to.. (in the back of my mind EQ)..

sorry for sharing my experience with you..

Maybe its just me.. but... why???

I avoid this time with the people I am around the most so I can play EQ.

its aweful.. and I know it is.. I say its not, but it really is, and I know it and knew it in the back of my mind....

I dont even play that much for gods sakes..

Lately, my sister who lives in another country plays, and I help her and her new found friends. This is so cool to me.. I get to talk to my sister, woooh her friends, and her.. I twink the fuck out of her..
Hell.. lets see, I have gotten 6 RMB's.. I have given away 6 RMB's.. I have gotten a Brown Chitten Protector.. how hard is that to get??? wel.. to roll for the fucking thing, what did I do?? I gave it to a fucking lvl 15 druid.. why? because he was cool.. I got Golden Efreeti boots.. ok, please camp your 2H mith whatever.. PLEASE. what does it take to get to the efreeti?? errmm.. well without deaths? about 4 well balanced 40+++ groups.. and what.. I gave them away to someone who is cool.. why? god I dont know. SMR gave it away, 1000 other things I have gotten.. gave them away. All hard to get.. all took time in my life.. WHY?? god who knows.

I know no one in the guild has gotten any of these great items from me.. I dont know why, but.. I dont even hang with most of the people in this guild. Really.. I try, I am in the wrong place or the motives are just not right..
Dont get me wrong.. FINALLY I have gotten to hang with Jain a few times helping fellow guild members.. and you know what.. that was cool.. like COOL beyond believe.. screw the items, to take your time and help the other person so that they get a smile in real life is VERY very cool.. and Jairn.. you are awesome for that for sure.

Argh.. sooo much to say because this is the end.. it really is.. so I will just ramble on and say it.

There are TONNES of good times.. (even with Sorow if you would believe). Raaven.. god.... I LOVE this guy.. I dont even know the fucking guy, but I love him.. like I would give my right and left nut for this person. We level 18-22 or so together.. and those were long levels, and we had an awesome time doing it..

Xavin.. my god.. I didnt even know this guy and he was like 4 levels higher than me.. I was bowing down to him .. I was short 100pp for spells,. whatever.. you need 100pp? here you go, what the fuck am I gonna do with it.. man, 100pp at that time was like.. well.. fuck.. a good 25 year old scotch .. That Xavin made you so fucking cool. Agh.. getting teary eyed saying all of this stuff. must go on though and must be strong.... . .

Baldruss... you made me laugh SOOOOOO many times.. we had GREAT times in SolB man, we gained EXP like sinead oconnor lost her career after ripping up the pope picture. I ALWAYS looked forward to grouping with you.. always...

Sorow .. well I dont know you that well. I had great times with you in oasis killing spectres that one night.. god, that was so fun.. we should have died so many times.. other than that, I must say.. one episode I had with you was in OOT when there was a cyclops stuck under the dock, and we were grouped with some other DBN members (cant remember who actually.. a necro I think he hasnt been around for awhile).. and you started killing this cyclops.. and disbanded the group.. and killed the cyc for exp.. that was so lame.. that was .. well sorow... you wonder why people pick on the gnome... we wouldnt even group with you after that.. if you remember afterwards one of the member said I have to go.. you want to know why?? it was because of that, and because you wanted to go kill sisters again with us... sorry dude.. hate to say this, but not sure I want to know you in real life.

ouch.. that was harsh I know.. im sorry.. didnt mean to piss on someones paraid... (I can picture Raaven reading this right now with a bud in one hand and a joint in the other going.. YAARGHGFH HAHRHRHARHARHARHR).. heh aha.. hehe sorry.. gotta picture this somehow dont we?:)

Kael.. god.. I dont even know what to say.. he seems like the biggest prick.. yet he is one of the greatest guys around.. He was 30 I was 20, and he was giving me pages for my spells.. going out of his way (god he still looks the same too .. get some new armour :)).. oh forgot to say.. I guess I did give something to someone in the guild.. I gave Bantam a RMB so he could get an EXE axe (ala Kael connection).. it was a big deal then I guess.. oh here.. have a 4 hour camp item :).. hehe no skin off my back.. (where is my SMR Bant..:)).. but anyhow.. how many times have i sat in a group with Kael in SolB and had him make lude crude callous and bad remarks at female charaters.. oh my god.. I have to say... it is soooo funny.. it is soo awesome.. I laugh my ass off going, man I want to drink with this guy some time, fuck he is a howl.. oh, anyhow.. kael has given me so much shit.. if anyone in this guild I owe anything for items, its kael.. as much as I think he seems like a wierdo macho guy, he is one of the most giving for sure.. GRATS on 50 Kael. you deserve it and much more..

ahh so much to say :)

this is in no order by the way :)

Utanan.. ummm.. hmmm.. never really knew ya.. Don't think I liked you first time i met you before you joined the guild when you were on sisters isle with me. but we became cool.. and you ARE a cool guy, you just never speak (TALK MAN)... but I did have a couple of good groupings with you in SolB.. I guess you are off killing guards power leveling or something (doesnt seem to be working, you would be 45 by now if you stayed in solb).. hell I would be 50 by now if I didnt fucking CAMP the syrins hair hood for 2 weeks in freaking rathe mountains.. what a waste of time that was. no exp from ANYTHING.. just trash.. I killed Hasten Boostrutter about 10 times because there was nothing else to do.. little fucker hits kinda hard, good thing Xoabnaraflkahfjgkjsadfaflkdsj could hold his own tho (thats the pet btw)..
Errm.. anyhow Ut.. nothing to say really.. hehe must be my enchanter competitive dickhead problem here ?? :) har hehehe.. naw man.. Im sure your cool.. peace up (god that sounds lame)..


Ahhh Raaven.. :)

Akuma where are you?

god.. you can type long ass messages on this board.. WTG Bant :)

BANTAM.. well what can I say..
I humiliated you at the guild event.. and myself.. I didnt even know you, and felt STUPID for doing it.. oh .. warrior.. mez.. nuke.. mez.. meditate.. lalalalala.. mez.. lalal mez.. nuke... mez.. whatever. sorry man, that was SO lame, and I felt so bad for doing that to someone.. I could picture you on your keyboard going hmmm.. boy, wish I could ove so I could pound on this muther.. oh .. stun mez.. ARGH.. :) hehe sorry, had to do it for the crowd. I should have just let you kill me but I wanted that Oracle Robe which Drosii and Vaixx so nicely FIXED that I would random out of the bag :) hehehe god, thanks guys.. I wanted one so bad, and was the only one without and you knew it.. I of course gave it away to someone in trade for my lame green silk drape which I actually deserved because I killed nox but lost the roll for, but they were nice enuff to trade for. (oracle robe suck.. +2 more int, big whooop.. I get to wear fucking calvin klein instead of levis.. who cares.)... errm anyhow...
We only grouped like once or twice Bant, and talked quite a few times. You are great (whoever the fuck you are.. virtual world is bad enuff let alone 2 brothers fucking playing 1 account :))..

it is getting late...

Vaixx .. dont know you well, you helped us once in OOT and I remember that and it was great. but other than that, I dont blaim you for not beeing here..

Drosii fuck.. is that how you spell the name??:) hehe.. ONE time I remember.. Rathe Lake.. Raaven and I were grouped up and some ASSHOLE FUTURA was stealing our kills at the single guard spawn.. you came.. you sat.. you destroyed and said.. play nice now or I will have to come back.. It was so fucking cool man.. like the epidemy of cool.. Futura was like WTF.. WTF.. aahhh .. anyhow, I and I am sure Raaven at that time could only thank you so much for doing that.

Only other D time was with Jairn when I pulled into butcher and they said.. come here quick and loot this corpse.. BOX.. box?? wtf is a box??
I stil have my Box of Abu kor or whatever the fuck his name is, who cares.. but its a great box and is the only item I own I guess that is nerfed (wish i had a manastone tho).

Veerus.. you are a great guy.. I really like you and had fun with you that one day I met you helping you (and you helping me) with shadowmen in rathe.. We got our items and it was all good.. and we stayed grouped for ages just talking. you have leveled like freaking mad, I was like 38 or something and you were 22 ?? I said go do the sisters man.. and well.. what your like 36 or something now?? my god.. hehe anyhow, we had some good private chats etc going on and ill miss you... . .

RAAVEN.. I still cant get over this guy.. I dont know why.. My best online friend for some reason.. of course that was destroyed by the bad EQ leveling stuff because I flew from 20 to 29 in like a week.. and for what?? argh... wish I coulda done it with you..

Bbam.. wish I could say something.. think I grouped with you once, bad timing.. wrong places wrong times? I dunno.. it was good when we did group which was bearly (guk lately tho was fun :)).. not enuff to go on here tho :(

The rest.. and I wont even name you, I just tried (like right now), but there are many in the guild .. ok fine Gaz, Es, Sky to name a couple or triple.. that I have spoken to, helped or grouped with... love you.. seriously, I do.

AKUMA where are you?? :)

Jairn... you have been nothing but great.. I looked up to you like you wouldnt believe. you never let me down either. Your absense that time made me sad :( (cry)... . when you and vaixx and drosii(sp?) kael bbam left Bedlam to form your own guild.. ack.. argh.. I felt so . lost.. I was the highest member in Bedlam for the longest time tho :).. Raaven and Akuma took me with them.. they said man, you can come.. . It was a good feeling and they were so cool.. I was so lost, well.. they want Akuma cuz he is higher lvl.. and they want Raaven cuz he teleports (hehsorry raav didnt mean to stick you there.. but you know what im saying). Anyhoooo.. It took awhile, but talking to Jairn he said .. sure.. we could use another enchanter I guess :).. god.. gleam.. WoW.. :) hehe .. helping Veerus, and also my good friend Daggarr (GREAT friend from UO pacific server). (not sure if he quit or not cuz of nerfs) was so nice.. you got me so many quest items that night.. then in paw that one night, we had GREAT fun, or I did anyhow. You gave me spells, pages, jewlery.. argh, I respect you for some really WIERD reason Jairn.. and I still do. If it wasnt for you I would not have stayed with the guild (or been in it).

This whole power leveling sucks ass.. dont do it, why bother.. be young, have fun, drink pepsi..
Been there.. done that.. I can honestly say I probably was the best power leveler around for a bit there (burns you out you know).. I did 20 - 29 in about just over a week... crazy shit man, constant solo crap to what?? to get clarity of course :).. but to alienate my good friend Raav whom I had enjoyed the company of and now could not group with anymore because of EQ lameass level restriction.

hmmmr.. ok where to go from here.

If you have actually read all of this, well congratulations, you deserve a fucking no drop, lore, dragonscale cloak (dont correct me on this kael cuz I know you will heheheh.. its drop and dunno if its lore, but who kares???:))..

Anyhow, my point...
This is too much, maybe I can just slow down or something and find a happy medium?? I dont know.. I am not cancelling my account yet.. my quality time online with my sister is just too much to give up.. and all of you make that even better.

I must think though.. I am hurting myself and others around me.. not much, but I am.. my god.. I used to be a ripped fit son of a bitch, pretty happy with myself, but now.. bah.. can I blaim this on EQ?? I dunno maybe.. I have sure let myself go to shit though since I have been ADDICTED to this great game..

Xavin, please stay in touch.. you live like so close to me, and do sorta the same type of shit I am into...

Sorry had to say that.. Rav .. I need yer email.

Not playing favorites or anything.. but.. whatever.

am I done?? I guess so.. I could blurb about what I think the guild needs or should do, but why..

I am not an addictive person.. well maybe I am.. I smoke .. I like to drink (im Canadian.. we all want to drink.. maybe this is why I like baldy?? :)).. I do drugs on occasion.. I have tried pretty much all of them.. and I like pretty much all of them. I do them in moderation when I feel fit to.. and I enjoy it, like everyone should because you dont live long enough to say NO.. of course if you always say YES, then you have a problem :)).. argh.. says the EQ addict. Heheh for the record I have played EQ drunk, on ecstacy, on mush, on acid, on coke... HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?:) hehe (can see Raav going YAAYAYAYAAAA ).. :)
heeh sorry.. littler personal agro moment there :).

If any of you are ever in San Fran.. please drop me a line.. my email is there.

Baldy.. mail me some Shaftsbury cream ale :) hehehe.. You dont know what shitty american beer does to a man.. you really dont. Micro brews suck here too, they just cant make beer.. and they shouldnt.. thats not their fault tho :) hehe..

While I am at it.. let me give you a little blurb on myself.

28, live with my girlfriend in San Francisco.. FUCK THIS PLACE KICKS ASS.. I know Baldy.. Van is cool.. but its nothing compared.. believe me.

I have 3 published Nintendo 64 games under my belt.. I am doing another N64 game right now and Sony PSX 2 games as well.. its hard.. its fun.. it sucks.. and it doesnt :)

I am a coder.. and have been since I was 9 years old.. not a smart fellow, just a hobby. A good person I might add.. or so I think. Although I dont give bumbs quarters anymore on the streets :) Im over that.. sorry.. Canadian boy.

errm.. ok. gonna go play EQ sorry for wasting your time.

Oh yeah.. anyhow,

I am quitting EQ.. thats it.. either I quit or I slow down to pretty much NIL to say hi and maybe help my sister (I still pay for my UO account god knows why, havnt logged on for ayear)... pak rat I suppose.

so thats it..

my girlfriends birthday is feb 28.. and as a present to her, and to my future with her, I am quitting as of then.

I dont want to.. I really dont.. trust me I REALLY dont want to.
But I must..

Oh yeah. thanks for all the response on my post for the sphinx hunt. :) hehe (jab jab).

That is it.. its 4am now.. agh..
maybe ill play for an hour hehe

goodbye.. and I love you all. I really do.

Please email me.. seriously..

Apshai Locura - 45 - Rathe

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